Contentment

For the last month I have been going over my goals that I would like to accomplish for the next year. Unlike most people I usually do my goals around my birthday (probably so I don't feel guilty breaking the goal of getting fit by eating as much dessert as I want around my birthday which is only a few weeks after the new year). So as my birthday comes around I tend to reflect back on my goals from last year and then set new ones for the upcoming year. Some from last year were similar to things I would like to see happen this year but since they include items that seem to be out of my control, such as having a baby or being pregnant before my next birthday I am going to just try really hard with one goal. I do have a few other things that I would like to have happen such as getting into shape by falling in love with exercise again (I used to LOVE playing every sport out there). Being a better wife to my husband and a more interactive mother to my son. I also have many craft & decorating projects that I want to take on and become a better gardener (this year actually attempt a small garden). I also would like to read my scriptures daily & say multiple FOCUSED prayers each day (not including all the small prayers that I need to get through my day). I would like to become a more loving and thoughtful teacher to my cute little sunbeam class and actually LOVE my calling in the primary.


OK, so now that you all know what a few of my smaller goals are I would like to share with you my main goal that will tie in with all of my other goals. CONTENTMENT in my everyday life.

con⋅tent⋅ment

 [kuhn-tent-muhnt] 

–noun

1.	the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind.

2.	Archaic. the act of making contentedly satisfied.

Origin: 
1400–50; late ME contentement < MF. See content ² , -ment 

Synonyms:
1. See happiness. 

I wanted to look up the definition to make sure this was indeed the word that fit what I was hoping for. It was exactly the word that I have been looking for to sum up my goal for the next year. There seem to be SO many things going on in my life and around me that I have NO control over. We have been wanting another baby for over a year now but it just seems to be out of reach.


CONTENTMENT ~ I have been trying to enjoy the time that I have with just Ryker. He has been growing up so fast and I am missing it because I have been focused on not being pregnant. How many hours have been spent wishing for that baby that I do not have when I should have been thankful & focused on the one that I do have. How many hours have I spent thinking about what my life would be like or what Ryker would be like with another child in the house? TOO many hours have been wasted on what my life could be like. I should be focusing my time on the cute, fun little boy that I have been blessed with. Over the last few weeks I have really enjoyed the time I spend with Ryker (although challenging at times) we have had a lot of fun and I have felt the happiness and contentment that I have been seeking else where. I have been missing so much of Ryker's childhood... if only I could go back this last year and improve the type of mother I was. There is no turning back, only going forward. I am going to clean less & play more.

Ummm... where do I start with my body image... my attitude. I had a friend point out that I am very negative about my body & how I see myself. Over the last 8 years of our marriage I fell into bad habits and let my habit of exercise become a last priority. I have let excuses run my life over why I weigh what I do and how hard infertility has been on my body (if you have ever had to take fertility drugs you know that you can gain weight without doing anything different) but NO more excuses... I did this to myself through laziness & bad eating habits. There... I said it out loud. Here is where CONTENTMENT is going to come in. Change my attitude to where I am no longer negative about myself but actually learn to love myself and be content with WHO I am. I will no longer be full of excuses but full of results... results that are going to take work. I am going to work on become fit as I said earlier but learn to be content with whatever the result may be. If I don't lose a pound, I will be content knowing that I am doing what I can to keep my body fit and healthy. I am not saying that I will never say another negative thing about myself, but I am going to work hard on focusing on being positive.


I could sit here and list all of my goals and what I plan to do to be content within my life but I am not going to continue. The rest of my goals such as personal scripture study & prayer are things that I want to keep between myself & my Heavenly Father. My overall goal is to learn to be more content within my life. To have more peace of mind, to enjoy what I do have. To look at the positive, wonderful things that are already in my life. To become a better person. To be content enough to be happy but not too content that I do not want to become better. One of my favorite sayings over the last year has been " Try a little harder to be a little better" - President Gordon B. Hinkley.


That is my goal... to be CONTENT with my life, to be happy, to be better, to be focused, to be caring, to serve others, to love more openly, to express gratitude more often, to enjoy what I already have, to DO more, to create more, to teach Ryker with more patience, & most of all to be more CHRIST like. I have a loving husband, an amazing little boy,    the best parents & sisters, wonderful & supportive in-laws & a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows what is best for me. I am very blessed in my life!