Our Continued Journey through Infertility

For the past several months I have been getting an impression that I need to post the story of how we got our little Ryker. I am not sure why or who this might benefit but I hope that it touches someone and gives them hope to continue on their own journey. Maybe it is more of a reminder for me on what I had to go through the first time for this next time around. If you don't want to read about all the details don't bother reading any further. I am not claiming to be an expert/Dr or saying that everyones journey through infertility will be the same or that what I did will work for everyone. I am simply stating my journey and maybe something that I did will help someone else.

I started going to the OB/GYN when I graduated from High School. I was a late bloomer and my cycles were never very regular. I was always concerned about whether or not I would be able to have kids. Before I got my patriarchal blessing that is one of the main questions that I wanted answered. I have about 2 paragraphs that explain how important my role as a mother is to be in my life. My blessing is not very clear about whether or not I would bare my own children. The times I have read it when we were looking into adoption the blessing fit.

I was on birth control before Dave and I got married and was told by my Dr. (lets call her Dr. B) that I would probably have a hard time getting pregnant. After being married for 6 months both of my sisters had babies and of course I got baby hungry. I convinced Dave to start trying for a baby. After working with Dr B who was titled as a infertility specialist for several months without any success this Dr. started to run some tests to see why I wasn't getting pregnant and concluded that my cycle didn't continue beyond ovulation. The Dr put me on 50mg of Clomid for 6 months before the dose was increased to 100mg within a month I was pregnant. We were SO thrilled since we had been trying to have a baby for 2 years. If you have ever struggled to get pregnant you know how disappointing it is to see those pregnancy tests turn negative. I couldn't believe that I was finally pregnant. Dave was still going to school in Cache Vally and the Dr I had been going to was in Davis County so he was insistent that we get a Dr. close by. I asked around for a good Dr (this will be Dr. C) and called to schedule an appointment. At this point Dave & I were concerned that we might have multiple babies (my lack of knowledge about Clomid at the time) and so I pushed to schedule an appointment with Dr C before the regular 12 week appointment. I got an appointment scheduled for 8 weeks. We went into the Dr. and everything seemed great. We asked for an ultrasound to see how many babies we were having. Normally they don't do an ultrasound that early but we were in luck because the room was available. We were SO excited until Dr C left the room to get a second opinion. We weren't sure what we were looking at or what was supposed to be on the screen but the look on the Dr's face was not reassuring. Long story short, several drs came into the room using lots of words I didn't understand and looking over at us. I started to cry because I knew the news I was about to receive was not good. I was right. I was schedule to have a D&C four days from then. I was indeed pregnant at one time but the baby or babies (there were 2 distinct masses) were not developing correctly and so there were just masses of cells growing inside me. I was DEVASTATED to say the least. All of those hopes and dreams of having a baby were dashed in moments. We would have a child that would have turned 4 in December. Looking back and having gone through the process I was very fortunate to have scheduled my appointment early and insisted on an ultrasound or I could have developed a rare cancer and had way more complications. I had a partial molar pregnancy and had to have weekly then monthly blood draws until my HCG level reached 0. We were told we would have to wait a year before trying again.

I went back to my specialist Dr B and was told that she couldn't figure out what was wrong but that she wouldn't continue to work me and that I would need to go to a Dr who does invitro because that was the only way I would be having a baby. There are SO many things that I didn't know at the time and just expected that Dr B (a claimed specialist) knew what she was talking about. Dave was finishing up his last year in school and promised that when he had a good job and could afford to try the invitro we would schedule an appointment to get a consultation. I am leaving out a lot of boring information that is a bit fuzzy about different tests that were run on both me and Dave by Dr. B throughout the course of 2 years. At the time I was reading Getting Pregnant - What you need to know right now by Neils H. Lauersen M.D & Colette Bouchez. I was convinced by what I read in the book that I had endometriosis but Dr. B said that I didn't.

Fast forward one year (year 4 of trying for a baby). Dave gets a great job here where we currently live. I scheduled an appointment with a specialist (Dr G) I had heard great things about in SLC at the U of U hospital (they were less expensive then the Dr that was recommended to me by Dr B) I was told that I need to have a Dr. close by to help run specific tests and so I started to ask around and heard great things about my current Dr (Dr H). I scheduled an appointment and took a HUGE stack of paperwork from both of my previous Drs so the current Dr H would know what to expect and to let her know that I was planning to go to SLC to work with Dr G in doing invitro. Dr. H looked through this huge stack of paperwork and asked a few questions about my background. She was very kind and patient. I felt like she actually listened to me and my concerns. Dr. H then asked if before we went to SLC if she could run some test to see if we could try some other procedures before jumping to invitro. I was thrilled! Why was Dr B so quick to just suggest invitro? After running some blood tests Dr. H found out that I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) or insulin resistance. It just took this Dr to run the RIGHT test. I had been working with Dr. B for 4 years and didn't run the RIGHT test. This explained why I gained 50 pounds without explanation and had such a difficult time losing this weight. Dr. H got me on Metformin and within 2 months I lost 15 pounds (I was in the bathroom A LOT). Dave and I decided to still go see Dr G in SLC since we had already scheduled the appointment. I asked Dr H's office to make copies of the tests that she just had done to take with me along with the other stack of paperwork. We went to Dr. G and he looked over all the paperwork asked several questions about both of us. Ran a few tests on Dave and basically told us the same thing that Dr. H had come to the conclusion to... PCOS. I was still working a full time job but trying to do research in my spare time on PCOS and what I could do to help our situation. Dr. H was positive that I would start having regular cycles (most of my previous cycles were brought on by medication) on my own. Within a few months I was not having cycles so she started me back on Provera (to bring on the cycle) and Clomid (to help with ovulation) and so for the next few months we tried on our own. After 7 months we decided to try doing an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) (the dr injects the sperm right into your uterus). Dr. H did the procedure right in her office and the cost was only $250. This is a HUGE savings over the $10K - $18K for invitro. When I asked Dr. H what the success rate was and how many times we should try the IUI before we moved on to try something else. Dr. H said the average was about 6 times. Dr. H was running a 21 day progesterone test to see that my progesterone level was high enough to keep a embryo over several months. I started to read a book titled Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler MPH. This was a very interesting book that taught me SO much about how my body worked and what the different hormones do at different parts of the cycle and what environment is healthy for an embryo to live in.This book also explains how to avoid getting pregnant and what signs that your body gives to you to let you know that you are about to ovulate. THIS BOOK IS AMAZING and I highly recommend buying it or checking it out of the library. This book helped me track the consistencies in my cycles.

The month came and went and I was not pregnant. I started another round of medication and was taking ovulation prediction tests when I was supposed to. The next month ALL the signs were there that I was ovulating so I called Dr. H's office and schedule an IUI for later than evening. I called Dave and had him get off early from work and everything fell into place. After the IUI I was cramping and bleeding because the 2nd time was VERY uncomfortable. I left feeling discouraged but asked the Dr. what I could do to help my chances along. She suggested progesterone cream since PCOS is basically a lack of progesterone which is the MAIN hormone that supports a embryo and fetus from conception until week 12. I am not sure if this is the reason that my first pregnancy ended the way that it did but knowing what I know now I would not be surprised. I had also been taking a multi-vitamin & an extra Folic acid pill every day from the time I started working with Dr. H. There are no know side effects to taking additional Folic Acid and I took an additional pill all through my pregnancy. Within a few days I started to feel sick to my stomach but I waived it off thinking that it was all in my head (if you ask Dave I do this every so often when I think that I am pregnant). I waited an additional week before going into the Dr. office to have a blood pregnancy test taken (blood can detect a pregnancy a week after conception). I called a couple days later and the nurse told me the Dr. had yet to view my results and they would call me back. When they called back they told me the test came back positive and I started crying. I asked if they were SURE and she said yes. I was scheduled for an appointment the following week. Most Drs' are so busy that they don't take patients before 12 weeks (most drs in UT have this policy) but Dr. H believes that is the most critical point and women should be able to see an ultrasound to make sure everything looks right. If not it is early enough in the pregnancy that you will know if there will be complications. We were able to see our little fetus at 6 weeks then again at 9 week and again at 12 weeks. I scheduled my first appointment with Dr. H in September 2006 and by July 2007 I was expecting a baby.

Looking back over my journey there are a few key things that I learned.

1. Do your own research and ASK lots of questions when you go to the Dr. Don't be afraid to get a 2nd opinion. It took moving away from my original Dr for me to get another opinion.

2. I learned how my body works and what I could do to help my body prepare for and carry a baby.

3. I have learned that listening to other people's stories about how this person had a hard time getting pregnant or adopted and then all of the sudden they were pregnant unexpectedly gave me false hope. Although these stories are great to hear, I would gain false hope from them. I still love hearing stories and all the MIRACLES of life that are out there. I just know now that they are an exception and I hope everyone has an amazing story like that to tell someday.

4. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, I learned to trust in the Lord and what he has in store for me. I was very angry and bitter after I had a miscarriage and turned my back on the Lord when I should have been turning toward him. I know that everything happens for a reason and I have learned so much through this experience, I am still learning SO much as I continue on my journey. I know that modern medicine is around for a reason and that without it I probably wouldn't be able to have children. I am grateful to live in a time where these types of medical technology is available. I know that the Lord chose for us to have a baby when we did and I believe that with time and patience (that is the hardest part) we will be blessed with another child.

As an update, Dave and I have not been preventing since Dec 2008. I have been on and off Provera, Metformin & Clomid over a few months. These drugs make me sick and have TOO many side effects for me to handle an active little boy for 12 hours a day to be on them for more than a couple months. I have not been taking these drugs since September but have been trying an alternate natural cream that is supposed to balance your hormones. Since I started using this cream (Young Living - Prenolone) I have had 4 cycles on my own. For me this is HUGE. As for what will happen next, I am not sure. We continue to pray that the Lord will bless us for the desire in our hearts for more children. Now that I have Ryker, I am not desperate for a baby. I have been striving to be happy with what I have. I love my little family and feel so blessed to be a mother!